When Is It Time to Break up a Relationship?

relationship advice, marriage

I Am in Difficulty in the Relationship with My Girlfriend and I Wonder Whether to Continue It or Not?

“Don’t be in a hurry, because what happens is that the mind has light moments and dark moments, day moments and night moments. When it is a day moment everything feels very good; you can see everything clearly. When night comes everything becomes dark and you cannot see anything clearly.”

There is every possibility you may decide something when it was night time, a dark moment, a low energy moment. If you decide something in that moment, it will not be wise because you have seen beautiful moments also with this woman.

Just think: we are sitting here, it is light, you can see me and you can see everybody here, you can see the trees – and then suddenly the electricity goes off. Now you cannot see anybody here; the trees and everything are gone. Will you say that now the trees no more exist and the people no longer exist? If you say that, that will be too early a decision. Can’t you remember that there was a light a few moments ago and people were there and the trees were green and everything was there and things were clear?

When the night is there, remember the day too – don’t forget it – and soon the day will be coming. Whenever you have to decide, it is always good to decide in daytime; then your life will have a positivity. If you decide in the night time your life will become negative.

That’s my distinction between a man who is religious and a man who is not religious: the non-religious man always decides about his life in the nighttime, he decides in a negative state.

That’s why he cannot say god is — he says there is no god. All no’s together become a big no: “There is no god.” All yes together become a big yes: “Yes, there is god!”

So wait! Decisions have to be made when there is light.

When you are again loving this woman and things are flowing and everything is beautiful, ecstatic, then decide, and if you want to separate, separate! But don’t decide in the nighttime. That’s why I say to prolong it, to watch. This will go.

There is a third state also, the transcendental.

When you have seen both the day and the night again and again and again, then you know that something is higher than both. You, your witnessing capacity, is higher than both.

So there are three kinds of decisions. The first kind is a negative kind which makes life a desert. Then nothing blooms – it is a frustration, it is hell! The second kind of decision is the “yes” decision, the daytime decision – life becomes a joy, a celebration. There is delight and one feels very happy to be: this is what heaven is, paradise. And the third is neither light nor darkness – one simply decides out of one’s witnessing; out of all of the experiences of day and night together, one decides. That is the ultimate decision, that is what makes a man enlightened. So just wait, watch, see, and let the daytime come, mm? then decide. Good!”

Excerpted from Osho, This Is It, Talk #3 (Unpublished at Osho’s request.)


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