I’m losing my expectations. I expected to be very different here.
I expected great progress to be made…to be more meditative. I thought great things would happen to me, so I could fully enjoy life, but I feel, if anything, that I have more bad habits, more problems. In fact, bad habits I haven’t had for three, four years, have come again. I feel those expectations are going to go if I can drop them – and maybe I can.
This is the great thing that has happened – that you are ready to drop the expectation. That is the greatest thing that can happen to a person, the greatest progress that can be made.
“The human mind is so stupid, it goes on expecting. It exists through expectations. It is a great moment if you can really drop all expectations. And when all expectations are dropped, then anything that you have repressed in the past will come back. You call them bad habits. Your very word, the choice of the word, says that you must have repressed them. You may not have been able to accept them, so you rejected them.
“Now when expectations are falling and you are becoming natural, all those rejected, disclaimed parts will again claim. They would like to be absorbed in your being. They are yours. You have been trying to forget them. You have been throwing them into the basement. But now, when you are becoming natural, they will say ‘Let us also come back home.’ So please don’t call them bad any more, otherwise you will again repress them.
“I’m not saying that they are going to remain with you. If they are really bad, they will disappear. You need not call them bad. A man who has no expectations cannot be bad. He can only be natural – and whatsoever is natural, is good. To be natural is to be good. They are synonymous to me. I don’t have any other idea of good beyond being natural. If your goodness goes against nature, it is bad. If your badness goes with nature, it is good. That’s what my morality is. That’s what my whole standpoint is.
“Somewhere you have been wrong in your interpretations – calling something bad. If it goes with your nature, it is good – whatsoever it is. If it does not go with your nature, there is no need to repress it; it will drop on its own accord.
Just be natural. By and by you will see that it is disappearing. Maybe it was there because you were repressing it.
“This is the greatest thing that can happen to a person. It has happened. Your expectations are fulfilled. Now drop them! And just be natural. Love and enjoy life. There is no need to fight. And nothing is bad – maybe small human weaknesses, but nothing is bad.
“This is my observation – that people who have a few human weaknesses are very good people. If you live with them, you will enjoy them. People who are inhumanly good are unbearable. You cannot live with them – they will crush you. Their very presence is ugly, heavy. They will turn you into a thing. Their very gaze will reduce you, and you will feel like a worm because their whole mind will be condemnatory.
It is very difficult to live with saints. It is very good to remain far away and pay your respects and say good-bye, but never come too close. And if you cannot live with a saint, what type of sainthood is this?
“The real saint is one with whom you can be, and not for a single moment are you reminded of your weaknesses. In fact you tend to forget that he is a saint. He is so human, so accepting, so non-condemning, that you think that he is just a friend, a brother at the most a companion, but not a saint sitting high in the heavens and looking at you, trying to reduce you to something condemned.
Be Human and enjoy life
“I would not like you to become a saint. Be human – with all the human weaknesses. And love it! You will be more relaxed and God will love you more because He will enjoy you more. I have been trying very hard but I cannot think how God can enjoy all those so-called saints. He must be bored to death! Just think of your saints all surrounding God. If He is not dead, then He must have committed suicide. He would like to love with human beings.
“So just be human. That’s a great enough goal. And accept small things. Nothing’s wrong. And this is very good that expectations are disappearing. So you are coming home.”
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Osho, Beyond Enlightenment, Talk #10 – I Answer Your Questions Just to Kill Them