Moving into Intimacy

Moving into Intimacy

Using Our Senses to Move Deeper in Intimacy

“All that is beautiful is inner, and the inner means privacy. Have you watched women making love? They always close their eyes. They know something. A man goes on making love with open eyes, he remains a watcher also. He is not completely in the act, he is not totally in it. He remains a voyeur, as if somebody else is making love and he is watching, as if the lovemaking is going on on a TV screen or in a movie. But a woman knows better because she is more delicately tuned to the inner. She always closes her eyes. Then love has a totally different fragrance.

“One day, run the bath and then switch the light on and off. When there is darkness you will hear the water falling more clearly, the sound will be sharp. When the light is on, the sound will be not so sharp.

What happens in darkness?

In darkness, everything else disappears because you cannot see. Only the sound and you are there. That’s why, in all good restaurants, light is avoided; sharp light is avoided. They are candlelit. Whenever a restaurant is candlelit, taste is deeper, you eat well and you taste more. The fragrance surrounds you. If there is very bright light the taste is no longer there. The eyes make everything public.

“In the very first sentence of his Metaphysics, Aristotle says that sight is the highest sense of man. It is not. In fact sight has become too domineering. It has monopolized the whole self and it has destroyed all the other senses. His master – Aristotle’s master, Plato – says that there is a hierarchy in the senses: sight at the top, touch at the bottom. He is absolutely wrong. There is no hierarchy.

All senses are on the same level and there should not be any hierarchy. You live through the eyes: eighty percent of your life is eye-oriented. This should not be so; a balance has to be restored.

You should touch also because touch has something which eyes cannot give.

“But try: try to touch the woman you love or the man you love in bright light and then touch in darkness. In darkness the body reveals itself, in bright light it hides.

“Have you seen Renoir’s paintings of feminine bodies? They have something miraculous in them. Many painters have painted the feminine body, but there is no comparison with Renoir. What is the difference? All other painters have painted the feminine body as it looks to the eyes. Renoir has painted it as it feels to the hands, so the painting has a warmth and a closeness, an aliveness.

“When you touch, something happens very close. When you see, something is far away.

In darkness, in secrecy, in privacy, something is revealed which cannot be revealed in openness, in the marketplace.

“Others are looking and observing; something deep within you shrinks, it cannot flower. It is just as if you put seeds down on the open ground for everybody to look at. They will never sprout. They need to be thrown deep into the womb of the earth, in deep darkness where nobody can see them. There they start sprouting and a great tree is born.

“Just like seeds need darkness and privacy in the earth, all relationships which are deep and intimate remain of the inner. They need privacy, they need a place where only two exist. There comes a moment when even the two dissolve and only one exists.

Two lovers deeply in tune with each other dissolve.

“Only one exists. They breathe together, they are together; a togetherness exists. This would not be possible if there were observers. They would never be able to let go if others were watching. The very eyes of others would become the barrier. So all that is beautiful, all that is deep, happens in darkness.

“In ordinary human relationships, privacy is needed. And when you ask about the relationship of a master and disciple, even more privacy is needed because it is a transmission of the highest energy possible to man. It is the highest peak of love, where one man pours himself into another and the other becomes a receptive womb. Even a slight disturbance, somebody watching, will be enough of a barrier.

Secrecy has its own reason to be there.

Remember that, and always remember that you will behave very foolishly in life if you become completely public. It will be as if somebody has turned his pockets inside-out. That will be your shape: pockets turned inside-out. Nothing is wrong in being outside, but remember, that is only part of life. It should not become the whole.

“I am not saying to move in darkness forever. Light has its own beauty and its own reason. If the seed remains in the dark for ever and ever, and never comes up to receive the sun in the morning, it will be dead. It has to go into darkness to sprout, to gather strength, to become vital, to be reborn, and then it has to come out and face the world and the light and the storm and the rains. It has to accept the challenge of the outside. But that challenge can only be accepted if you are deeply rooted within.

I am not saying to become escapists, I am not saying to close your eyes, move within and never come out.

I am simply saying, go in so that you can come out with energy, with love, with compassion. Go in so that when you come out you are not a beggar, but a king. Go in so that when you come out you have something to share – the flowers, the leaves. Go in so that your coming out becomes richer and is not impoverished. And always remember that whenever you feel exhausted, the source of energy is within. Close your eyes and go in.

“Make outer relationships; make inner relationships also. Of course there are bound to be outer relationships: you move in the world, there will be business relationships, but they should not be all. They have their part to play.

But there must be something absolutely secret and private, something that you can call your own.

“That is what Marilyn Monroe lacked. She was a public woman: successful, yet failed completely. While she was at the top of her success and fame, she committed suicide. Why she committed suicide has remained an enigma. She had everything to live for; you cannot conceive of more fame, more success, more charisma, more beauty, more health. Everything was there, nothing could be improved upon, and still something was lacking. The inside, the within, was empty. Then, suicide is the only way.

“You may not be daring enough to commit suicide like Marilyn Monroe. You may be very cowardly and you may commit suicide very slowly, you may take seventy years to commit it, but still it will be a suicide.

Unless you have something inside you which is not dependent on anything outside, which is just your own – a world, a space of your own where you can close your eyes and move, and you can forget that anything else exists – you will be committing suicide.

“Life arises from that inner source and spreads into the sky outside. There has to be a balance, I am always for balance.”


To continue reading and see all available formats of this talk:
Excerpted from, Osho, Come Follow To You, Vol.1, Talk #6 – I Am Teaching Non-Doing

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